My Funeral

Lately, as a result of some reflection, I've begun to wonder about my possibly-unexpected death, and I wondered if I should some day die in a freak accident of some sort, who would know about it, and who would come to my funeral.

I imagine a few would... those who are still in rough contact with me. Possibly those from PLCMC. Possibly some from ORPC too. A few of them from UQ OCF who're back here. Mmm... maybe a few of my colleagues here too? A-a-and... I dunno. I don't think there's a link between my poly friends with anyone else in my life. So should I die, my 姐妹s wouldn't know about it. My 姐 in Italy wouldn't know about it either. And probably Vivian, Shuxian, Daphne they all also wouldn't know about it.

Then my thoughts started to wander to people overseas. The few friends left in Brisbane, would they fly back in the midst of their studies to attend my funeral? Coz even if they did, I wouldn't be able to say lame things and make them miss me, coz I'd be cold and grey in the wooden chest. No, actually, I might not be in a wooden chest. The point is, I'm dead. So would people waste $1000+ each to fly back for my funeral? Would my 姐 in Italy fly back for my funeral? Would my dad fly back from US (assuming he's there)? K, maybe, since he's my dad.

And what about my army friends? They wouldn't know about it either.

Would Esther come? After all the hurt I've caused her, I wouldn't be surprised, nor would I blame her if she didn't... not... that I can... of course.

And how would I like my funeral? I was saying I might not be in a wooden chest. I'm thinking something cooler... a glass... sphere? But that's a waste of material. How about a papier mache coffin? Maybe something shaped like a moth? Then my face would be at its thorax area so I'd fit nicely into the form of a Deathhead Hawkmoth? What's that? Remember Silence of the Lambs? No? K, maybe a picture is in order here...


Yup! See that "skull" on its thorax? Yeah, that'd make a cool looking coffin... and it's papier mache! Easily burnt, or rotted, however my family decide to get rid of my cadaver.

And now, my demands of those who attend my funeral.

I would want my visitors to cry ONLY on the last day... the procession, or maybe the burning. The days leading up to it, it has to be a happy, laughy, smiley occasion. I want happy and colorful balloons!!! Whee!!! And streamers, and glowsticks bracelets for every visitor! Rainbow-colored swirly lollipops and drinks for every table! And colorful artistic dishes for dinners! And they're not allowed to wear black! Ok, I'll lax abit... black bottoms are fine. But I want colorful tops! Dark blue is considered black, so no. I guess everything else is ok... brown... hmm... I dunno la. If you respect me, you'll wear brightly colored/floral/swirly clothes. But even if you really decide to wear black, I am in no position to protest cost I'd be inside the moth (I make myself sound like a parasite)...

I'd want a stage for performances, but that'd be abit much. Maybe a mic somewhere for people to tell lame jokes, keep the laughter in the air... I'd imagine Zhiwei to go up. Haha! Or... maybe Patrick? Hahaha! I dunno. I have a feeling that eventually, nothing will be like this at all. Nobody will heed my will. They'll just have boring, sobbing, dull-colored, decoration advertising the casket's name, boring rectangular wooden coffins that cost too much to burn but gets burned anyway, tacky peanuts and pumpkin seeds at every table for the guests. It's so weird. Peanuts and pumpkin seeds are used during Chinese New Year too! Anyway... ya... I hate those plastic bag-covered tables! I want nice frilly tablecloths!!!

I want my funeral to welcome anyone who's hungry too... Anyone who wants a free meal will be welcome to join in the party!

Hmm, I can actually see it! People will look and wander and wonder what's going on. They'll be like, "Wow, that's quite a party going on there. What's the occasion?" And my friends or my family will smile warmly and say, "Our friend/nephew/son/brother/uncle just died. Come on and join in the fun!" I'll bet the news people would be at it, and they'll be welcome to join in too.

Most importantly, there must be messages everywhere that says something like this:

"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised!"

That's from Job, by the way. Yeah, it doesn't have to be that line, but it has to be something to that essence... that GOD is in control of everything, that GOD is the giver of all things, and that GOD is sovereign over all things.

Ok la, enough dreams for my funeral for now. I just hope this gets carried out.

Cheers people!

By the way, I'm the ONLY one left in office at the 44th floor right now. Spooky...