Let Me Sleep

I can't sleep. One of the rare times that I actually can't sleep. I've been trying to sleep for 3h. Worse still is the fact that I have to get up at 6am tmr. Stupid In-Camp Training (ICT) that's gonna last the whole week. Hai... what a waste of time.

So it was too hot and I can't sleep... so I went out and strolled along the corridors of my block, up on the 11th and 12th floor where I imagined there would be abit more breeze. And there was! And it was nice just staring out at the night and the lights and having cool air blow over me.

And then I guess I just started thinking about the past... again... 

Cool air, at night, alone... *si-i-i-igh*

Anyways, I don't wish to elaborate. I'll end once again, with a song. I like this song... And this song was from wa-a-ay past, from one of my almost-romance. Heh... And perhaps it was good that it remained an almost-romance, coz she's now happily married to a great guy, and I wish them all the best! =D Still, this song can apply to anyone, so it's definitely not this girl from this almost-romance...

"Let me sleep,

For when I sleep

I dream that you are here.

You're mine,

And all my fears are left behind.

I float on air,

The nightingale sings gentle lullabies,

So let me close my eyes and sleep.

A chance to dream,

So I can see the face I long to touch, to kiss,

But only dreams can bring me this,

So let the moon shine softly

On the boy I long to see,

And maybe when he dreams,

He'll dream of me.

Up high beneath the clouds,

I'd whisper to the evening star.

They tell me love is just a dream away...

I'll dream away..."

-Kirsten Dunst: Dream Of Me

The Past Haunts Like Crazy

Not sure if any of you still come here anymore. But if you do, I trust that you can keep this hush-hush.

My sister broke up with her boyfriend recently... and she's really down in the dumps 'bout this. This morning, she woke me up crying so badly... Said her ex is already in a relationship with someone else, even though he said that he wouldn't get into one when he's out there, overseas. Prior to that, they broke up due to some issues with his ex. Apparently he still has feelings for her... and though it was painful, it's kinda like a mutual break-up, coz he wants to think things through. But shortly after, there was this other girl in the picture. And now it seems they're together, and everyone is happy, including his ex. And my sis only found out about it via Facebook when his relationship status changed with the new girl.

Needless to say, devastation set in. And she was crying for about an hour or so before I had a stomachache and she needed to head to work.

All this while, as I listened, I felt a mix of emotions in me. I hated the guy for this, but realized that not too many years ago, I was almost exactly like that... It was almost identical the way the scenarios played out. And though I've always known how badly it hurt Esther, seeing my sister cry like this brings me back to how Esther must've cried her eyes out wondering why, wondering how...

The past is indeed a haunting presence in my mind... is it not in everyone's?

I think I need to meet Esther and apologize. It's been too long... what, 4 years? I think I owe her too much. I just hope that she can find it in her heart to forgive my hurting her so deeply. =( Thinking about it aches my heart... if I could turn back the hands of time...

*sigh*